If you don't get The New York Times on Sunday, here's the link to this weekend's Weddings Field Notes story:  Popping Another Question: Invite Children?

I couldn’t sleep the other night and caught the most adorable movie on TV, Little Manhattan. It’s the story of a kid who falls in love for the first time. Dave liked it too, so it’s not just for chicks.

The reason I’m writing about it is because the love interest, I think she’s 10, agreed to be the flower girl in her aunt’s wedding. But she was 5 when she agreed to it and feels awkward about it being a 10-year-old flower girl.

While you may know of a little boy or girl you plan to ask to be your ring bearer or flower girl, you should think about his or her age before you ask them. Don’t just assume they’ll do it.

Really little ones — under 4 or 5 — may not be able to make it down the aisle themselves. You may need a parent, or close relative they know well to either stand at the end of the aisle so they walk to them, or have an adult walk with them. You don’t want them to freeze or throw a tantrum in the middle of the aisle. That’s not fair to the child, their parents or you.

Older children may be able to walk down the aisle themselves, but you may want to ask their opinions on the outfit you choose for them. The older they are the more likely they will not be a happy camper in an outfit they think is too young for them.

Once girls get to be tweens and teens they’ve out grown the role of flower girl and the title of junior bridesmaid is more appropriate.

But before you ask any child to be in your wedding, talk to their parents. They will know if their kids will really be comfortable being the center of attention for those few moments. And don’t force the issue. Parents who say, "no thanks" are probably doing you a huge favor.

Looking for a simple, but elegant ring pillow? White + Warren has designed a cashmere ring pillow, available in a range of colors to match every palette. The $50 pillow comes with satin ribbon to secure your wedding rings in place.

While I think a ring pillow is a necessity if you are having a ring bearer, I don’t think it’s a great idea to let the little guy carry your real wedding bands down the aisle. No matter how old he is, it’s a safer bet to let your best man, or the groom, carry the real rings and place fake/inexpensive rings on the beautiful ring pillow. Here’s a link to a set of 3 simple bands for less than $5 at Forever 21. Remember no one will ever know that the rings on the pillow aren’t the real ones, and you can relax, not having to worry that something will happen to them.

Another idea is not to tie any rings to the ring pillow and just tie the satin ribbon in a pretty bow.

When planning a wedding we always forget that there are men involved too. The groom, best man, father of the bride. And of course, the little men who often steal the show with their partners in cuteness, the flower girl.

When selecting the perfect outfit for your ring bearer remember that he will need comfortable shoes. Like everyone else in the bridal party he has to walk down the aisle too.

Robeez has the most adorable line of shoes for both boys and girls - infants to toddler sizes. These penny loafers with intricate stitched detailing mimics the classic men's shoe and are perfect for the littlest member of your bridal party.

Robeez has a wide selection of casual and formal shoes for you and moms to choose from. Their soft sole all leather shoes and booties easily slip on and stay on.

PS - I also love the Mary Jane style for flower girls, and they're also available in pink!