I hope everyone had a very Happy Thanksgiving. Since I’m writing from home again, and can’t upload pictures, I’m continuing our “Marrying Your Finances” and wedding budget tip series with Judi Rosenthal of Ameriprise Financial, here is tip #4:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Financial discussions are seldom romantic, but they are an essential. Early on, be sure to define your lingo as even simple phrases can mean different things to different people. Finding out that your definition of “a lot” is the same as your partner’s definition of “a little” may be shocking, but it will help eliminate unwelcome surprises in the future. When arguments do arise, don’t point fingers by using the “You” word; it’s usually followed by an accusation. Instead of: "You shop too much on the weekends" try "I am wondering if we are saving enough for retirement. Maybe we can adjust our budget to increase savings.” Most importantly, always make sure each person has a chance to express uninterrupted thoughts on their financial wellbeing, habits and goals.

Wedding Budget Tip: While many moms and dads are happy to help you pay for your wedding, don’t assume they will be covering all costs. When figuring out your wedding budget sit down with both your parents and his and talk to them about the type of wedding you want and find out if they are planning on helping you financially. They may decide that they want to pay for something specific – the flowers, the food, your dress – or they may just tell you how much they want to spend and you can use the money any way you want. There may be strings attached when mom and dad are paying – using a certain vendor, inviting more of their friends – if you are concerned that their money will give them too much power or control over your wedding then don’t take their money. The best thing to do is set the “ground rules” when you decide to accept their help so that there are no misunderstandings throughout the course of your engagement.