I was talking with a colleague Friday morning and she told me that her best friend just got engaged, and she was going to be the maid-of-honor.  Then she told me that she was getting really anxious and nervous because so  much had to get done.  And when I told her not to stress because the shower and bachelorette party wouldn’t take place for months, she implied that she is going to be helping the bride with every detail of the wedding, and that the bride is not that into it.

If you saw the movie 27 Dresses, the main character, Jane, is a bridesmaid or MOH in 27 weddings.  At each one, including her sister’s, she is acting more like a wedding planner and not a bridesmaid or MOH.

So let me just say this.  Your bridesmaids and MOH should not be your wedding planner – unless of course that’s what she does for a living and has offered to work with you as your wedding planner.

It is NOT fair for you to expect your ‘maids to schedule appointments with vendors for you or do any research for you, unless they offer.  Of course you can bring them with you dress shopping and to met with a vendor, but they are NOT your private army of wedding planners. 

Here’s a list of the main bridesmaid and maid-of-honor responsibilities:

• Plan and host the bridal shower and bachelorette party
• Shop for and buy the bridesmaid dress and accessories the bride selects without complaining
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
• If the bride asks – help with wrapping favors, binding programs, stuffing invitation envelopes, etc...
• Show up on time on the wedding day with a positive attitude
• Help the bride get ready
• Walk down the aisle without complaining about the order or who she is paired with
• Take part in the ceremony if the bride asks
• Dance and have a great time at the reception